we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Randomize
