Sorry, I don't speak sober.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
