WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize