God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
