one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
In other news, I just burned my penis
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Randomize
