what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
