if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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