All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Randomize
