everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Randomize
