i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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