i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
He passed out mid-signature
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
