i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
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She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
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we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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