Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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