I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize