You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
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