hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
