She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
