these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
