The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
the raccoons are back...
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