You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
