im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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