Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
