I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize