we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
