I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
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