i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
