Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I love having hate sex.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
