i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
