It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
