Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
you will always have a special place in my vag
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Randomize