My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Randomize