Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
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