We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
