Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
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