My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
