He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Randomize
