Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
