I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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