Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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