...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
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