what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
he shaved USA in his pubs
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
How drunk are you?
Completed.
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