you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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