He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
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