so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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