he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
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Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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