After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
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You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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