Swine flu. Run for my life!
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Success! We fucked roommates!
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
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