16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
