those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
