dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Randomize
