You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
