Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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