Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
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fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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