I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
i think im in europe. pls send help
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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