So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
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