I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
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