at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Randomize
