did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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