If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
At least life still wants to fuck me.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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