well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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