This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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