Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
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