"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
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