We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I can't turn off my feet"
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
