stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
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