You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
